Being comfortable in my own skin
One would hope that after being on this planet for nearly 30 years I would be comfortable being myself… but for whatever reasons stupid insecurities still creep up, and it drives me fricken crazy. It’s always silly stuff too, but I realize it’s always the things that haunted me as a grade schooler as well… the same feelings. So, I can either just accept this, as part of who I am and really just be okay with it, or I can continue to be distracted and held back by it.
I want to just be ok, but it’s a matter of retraining my head to match my heart, and both of them to match reality/truth – no one really cares about the things that I feel embarrassed/insecure about. It’s ok! The thoughts in my head are always whispering about what people think of me… and I’m here to say the truth – people like me! It’s been hard enough to get where I am, I don’t need to keep on “working” at it. This is one thing that I think I’m okay with saying “I’ve arrived” – now get off the plane and see reality for what it’s always been.
February 2nd, 2010 at 8:17 pm
I know I participated in some of the things kids did when we were in grade school together and I’m sorry for doing that to you. When were young, we don’t realize how these things will actually affect others in their future as an adult. I know I was teased as well later in Junior High and I know that’s the reason I have some of the issues that I do now. Its just a part of life I guess.
February 3rd, 2010 at 11:34 am
Hey Brent,
Thanks for the comment, it’s so true that what we do when we’re young is done w/o any idea (or awareness) how it effects the future, for ourselves and for others. I sure hope that we all learn to be forgiven and to forgive, it’s been huge in making me the person I am today, who at least can shrug off insecurities, take a risk, and walk in confidence in spite of what it may feel like. Thanks again for the thoughts, and honesty. Enjoy seeing what’s new in people’s lives from the past, and seeing your family on Facebook has been fun to watch!
February 4th, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I was chatting with my mom yesterday about impressing people and worrying what people think about us. My mom said she’s finally reached a point where she no longer worries about such things. And it only took her 58 years!!! Lol. So don’t fret. You are awesome and well liked.
~Becky