When values conflict

Window in the Pearl

Being an idealist (and a Christian one at that) may cause one to have ulcers. Sometimes in my quest to live out what I believe are kingdom principles (love people like our Father does, as a child of His be disciplined, and realize His ways are higher than mine) my head spins, my heart aches, and I’m left paralyzed without much of an answer. More often than not I am left feeling like I’m one of the few who truly care, and therefore, what on earth can I do?  I’m reminded, it’s not me, it’s Him that needs to do this stuff on earth… or is it “just Him?” – my spirit screams no, I must do something too.  So, as I try to align all my thoughts, concerns, and deep love for humanity, I become confused with why so many around me move around as if there wasn’t another human around…

So, what values of mine are conflicting? It’s my idealistic values of the Kingdom, and my insecurities of the past. It’s the value to honor my fellow friends, brothers, and sisters, and my need to know I’m “doing” the right thing… aka “approved.”

Sure, people generally care about those around them, but do they care about the ones they can’t/don’t see around them?  Then I think to myself… well I haven’t done much either, so who am I to say much and try to bring awareness to others? I so badly want to see people encounter God, and to see the Church being the Church (having people encounter a dwelling God among them).  So what has held me back?  Honestly, it’s this idea that I need some kind of “permission” or “commission” – some kind of authority figure to “bless” me and say “go do it.” – well, I have heard it, from the Father himself, and I need to stop seeking out the humanly and just walk out what I know is true in the Spirit – respect the human authority – and honor the Spiritual authority.  To be continued…