food for fish | encouragment
God
The hedge
Aug 23rd
Sometimes I don’t understand it.
Other times I’m so grateful.
Many times I just don’t see it.
The hedge.
—
In good times and bad times.
In happy times and sad times.
Times of horror and times of joy.
The hedge is there.
—
Because He loves me.
Because He seeks me.
He protects me.
The hedge he provides me.
—
In the hedge is frustration.
In the hedge is fruition.
Beside the hedge is safety.
The hedge is Him.
—
The hedge – can you see it?
Keep on knocking
Aug 22nd
Luke 11:5-8 [nlt]
5 Then, teaching them more about prayer, he used this story: “Suppose you went to a friend’s house at midnight, wanting to borrow three loaves of bread. You say to him, 6 ‘A friend of mine has just arrived for a visit, and I have nothing for him to eat.’ 7 And suppose he calls out from his bedroom, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is locked for the night, and my family and I are all in bed. I can’t help you.’ 8 But I tell you this—though he won’t do it for friendship’s sake, if you keep knocking long enough, he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence.
Wow… hello world, yes there is actually someone here today. I have no real idea what to write about, there is so much going on, so many things I could write about, yet, I guess I’m giving into “who really cares” at the moment. However, I know there are plenty who do care. I know that in our crazy lives we will easily assume “no one cares”. However, our God is bigger than that, he actually works through his people… did you know that!? Yup, it’s true, people can be used by God.
So, why is it so hard to believe, so hard to actually see? Because I think the enemy has so many of us right where he wants us… apathetic, fearful, and “not equipped”. I myself have been in this place so many times, and many times I’m completely unaware until something hits me in the head. Everyday I think about this kind of thing, the things that I observe about the Church, people, society… and so often it seems so big, so unchangeable. The truth is, outside of God using us, it is unchangeable.
So this little parable about the friend knocking… it’s in reference to prayer… is God the friend in the house? Kinda not the God I’ve been taught about… essentially a cranky old man who doesn’t want to help his friend at night? – I know in my heart this isn’t who God is, but sure seems like it at times… but I realize I’m looking at the wrong part of the story. The last line tells it all “he will get up and give you whatever you need because of your shameless persistence” not whatever you want but whatever you need. This is the key, God will give us whatever we need when we are persistent.
Being persistent is one of the hardest things for me to do, I feel like I’m either trying to sell something, I’m acting without faith, or I’m not where I should be. Jesus doesn’t end the story there…
Luke 11:9-12 [nlt]
9 “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
11 “You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? 12 Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! 13 So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”
Father God, give me your wisdom, give me your eyes, give me your peace, and give me your love. May I continue to operate with you, and you alone. I want to be your disciple first, seek love in my marriage, and father my children in your ways. I know your plans are good, and I know your promises are true. May I bless you oh God, may I seek you in all things, fill my spirit with your will, and may I do what you do in Heaven, here on earth!
Not being paid, but love it.
Jul 3rd
Alexis and I have been involved with leading ministry since before we were married (we took a year long break just after our wedding, 4 years ago this week!), and during all this time I have worked full time. We are currently in the process of becoming licensed Pastors (yes, both of us) and do not have plans to become “full time staff” anywhere. While there are times where I personally have longed to have 100% of my focus on ministry, I am seeing some things change in our world where I don’t think that’s going to be the norm.
I believe the people of the Church should support the Church through their tithes and extra special offerings, if everyone who had a Church they called “home” would tithe 10% we might see a lot more, not because there would be more money, but because there would be more sacrifice, tithing is not about supporting/paying the Church, it’s about your personal sacrifice, do you trust God in your life with your finances? Tithes are also not a tax, we can’t expect “services” from our tithes.
But with that said, I also believe that bi-vocational ministry (working full time outside the Church, and serving as a pastor, leader, teacher, etc inside the Church) can play a key role in building the Church to a place where we can “prepare God’s people for the works of service, so that the body may be built up” (Eph 4:12). I believe with all my heart that every single person who has a relationship with Jesus Christ has the gifts to minister, both inside and outside the Church. We must be mentoring our young, and we must be wise to listen to our elders, weather or not we are in a full-time paid ministry position, or simply obeying God by walking out our gifts, we are a called people! Ministry is not a job, it is not “work” in the sense of paid-work, it is love in action, it is the Church being who the Church is.
I love doing what I do in the Church, listening, encouraging, speaking life into people, loving on people, simply “being” there, speaking truth (even when it’s hard), and giving grace. I love, love, love it. I so badly wish I didn’t have to work, I wish I could do this full time, sometimes I really hate how tired I am from “work” and I really don’t feel like “pastoring” or “loving” or “ministering”. However, it never fails that as soon as I humble myself, let my flesh burn a little, and I obey God’s voice to do what he has gifted me to do, my energy level rises, my passion grows, and God does amazing things. So, as I read today in Isaiah 6:8 – “Here I am. Send me” – just as I did nearly 5 and a half years ago as I began my first year interning at East Hill. Love is how the world will know us, and our love of the Church (or lack thereof) will determine just how much actual (remember, who is love?) love spreads.
Hard core community
Jun 21st
For all the talk I see about community it sure seems to be an elsuive idea. I have tasted and seen kingdom based community for my own eyes, and I’ve seen people get excited and the idea never materialize. If we are going to be intentional with our lives then I propose we be intentional with our community.
Community is not simply saying hi to our neighbors a few times a week, nor is it an exclusive club of Christians gathering from time to time to just hang out, talk a little, and go about their lives. Community needs to be about the society and culture we live in, and have kingdom influence. How? By first observing the world around us, seeing the needs of those around us that we know God can meet, and seeking his will about how we as believers can meet those needs. Second, loving the community for who they are, living in their midsts and intentionally be God’s hand and feet through simple offers of compassion and benevolence. Thirdly, offering God’s truth in all things, speaking his life giving grace, peace, hope, and love into the community around us.
Sounds all nice and neat, doesn’t it? Well it’s not, the reality is that this takes a grand amount of patience and labor. In my own observance, many people are not willing to sacrifice and suffer their time and money unless they “know” for sure there will be fruit (aka a return on their investment).
I challenege this school of thought, not so that we waste our resources but that we actually be wise in God’s way and take his risks to heart. His ways are higher than ours, and he wins our battles. The victory is already his! I am willing to say (through experience) that stepping out into the unknown to touch the lives of those around you, weather they are people you know or not, will always produce fruit. It may or may not be tangible, and that’s where we begin to doubt.
Community will look different from place to place, but it will always include sacrificial love and truth. I really wish we weren’t all locked up in our detached homes, fenced off from the world, because if we lived lives where we had to cross paths with “the others” we might just see God do something! We might actually hear his voice prompt us to be community. We must surrender all of that to God, and continue on, good and faithful servant.
Good work ethics are demotivating
May 19th
Picture was taken at the central Library MAX stop downtown Portland waiting for the train home. Mobile post ahead, spelling and typo errors ahead…
I work with a lot of people, both in ministry and in my vocation. A lot of these people are fantastic hard working people, and…. well a lot are just not. Now when I say hard working I’m not talking about the work-aholics, that’s a different breed. I’m talking about people who have good work ethics, people who take on what is theirs, don’t blame shift, and look for solutions. When people opperate like this then I’m glad to work along side them, past mistakes, and help accomplish the bigger goal.
When I’m working with the type of person who is constantly blame shifting, covering up mistakes, and not looking for solutions then I begin to get frustrated. This is always a hard line to walk, because ultimately I need to walk the high road and love the person through the conflict without enabling them to live/work on in dysfunction. The issue and temptation I run into is paitience within myself to work with God and find the teachable moments.
Whether Christian or not, people are in one of these two categories, to varrying degrees of course. Living in harmony as Paul instructed the Romans is key to my walk with Jesus, so a value I live out is having a strong work ethic, working alongside others who don’t share that is frustrating, but not a license to micro manage, freak out, or ignore the issues. Nor is it the time to become demotivated and give up on humanity, it’s exactly the opposite, it’s time to act and be who I’m called to be and work in my skills and gifts.
A little bit of throw up
May 17th
Man I’m tired of filtering what I write (actually, most of the time it’s filtered completely out before I even write, hence the sound of crickets around here). There’s been a lot going on in my life, all of it is “good” – but that’s a very relative term. My “good” stuff has mostly smelled like vomit though. Now, I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how good stuff can smell like vomit, trust me, when you walk with God, sometimes good smells like vomit. You see, it’s taken a lot of bad smelly stuff to realize that I need to work on some (more) things in my life. I like being stretched, but man, recently this stretching has taken me to a new level of trusting in God. Okay, so I’ve said a lot without really saying anything.
So the stink that I keep referring to are things where God has shown me where I fail to walk in the person he created me to be. Places where I still shy away from being the real man of God I need to be. None of these things are a “should be” they are a “called to be”. What I mean by all of this; is that when I choose to walk in the picture that God has called me to be, then the stink is much more mild. But when I just walk around, operating in reaction to people and circumstances, then my stomach starts to get upset and vomit starts spewing onto those around me. Envisioning myself as the called child of God takes burning the stink out, making mistakes, but most of all love. Walking in God’s love, with each decision produces a life of hope and makes each day something to enjoy.
I want to write more, I miss it, but for some reason I feel like I need to filter my thoughts. Here’s to hoping that goes away…
Filtering life
May 5th
A mobile post from the ride home, enjoy.
There is really only so much we can do in life, so making “life worth it” can seem overwhelming and unobtainable. There are a lot of different approaches, and to varying degrees I’ve watched many ways fail to bring about the “worth” people talk about. I’ve been a swinger (no not that kind) just rolling around from one thing to the next, unsure why I’m doing what I’m doing.
Now it’s different, there’s meaning, and sometimes that very meaning is what helps me realize – I never had any worth. At least I never had a need to seek worth, because I’ve always had access to it. Simply through God’s grace and sacrifice, which compels me to recognize my faults, and live for him.
So now I live life through that filter, a redeemed man of God who needs not seek worth, but live in God’s worth! I live my life filtered by God’s priorities, his grace, and love.
The hardships of this life are enormous, many of which I have been through and often felt angered at God for one selfish reason or another. From sexual abuse, family crisis, deaths, relational crisis, depression, and just about everything else you can imagine in the lives of those around me. It isn’t because God has protected me, nor is it some super power, nor is it because I’m smarter than the next person. The victory I have experienced is all due to the fact that I and we have made it a priority to put God first, every yes or no we say is because we have filtered it against our walk with God.
Of course we fail in this at times, of corse we get overwhelmed and make mistakes. Yet overall because of te intentional decisions to fiter our decisions to God we have been spared the worst of the consequences, consequences I know would be devastating.
How I see it
Apr 3rd
When I look at people, life, the Church,
Through the eyes of how I know & understand Christ, God, the Holy Spirit
Then I see beauty & life
I see things differently
I ‘spose because I’ve seen a lot of terrible things
Many of these things I would rather never see again
In fact I contend with God to only see these things because of Him
Because of these things people are different to me
People, all people, even you, and even the guy trashed from the party
And even, the guy who reeks of alcohol and body odor in the “free rail zone”
They all have a warm spot in my heart, even the people who have caused the deepest hurt
This is all true, not because it’s some warm fuzzy ideal
But because it’s exactly what my God has given me, time and time again
This grace, so amazing, so unchanging, so undeserved, this is what floods my soul
When my soul is flooded, and my heart is filled, I can only be drawn to the souls of all.
Lying to yourself
Feb 4th
I have a lot of principles, values, and priorities that I like to tell myself I live by. Things like honesty, loving others, being a good listener, integrity, authenticity, etc. Many of which are of course motivated by my relationship with God. However, I can say and proclaim as many of these things as I want until I’m blue in the face… none of it matters. None of it matters unless I’m actually doing these things, being true to them.. Now this sounds pretty harsh, even borderline religious or legalistic.
I don’t like lying to myself, I don’t like saying I am one thing, when really I am not. I’ll go as far as to say, if you call yourself a Christian, if you have a relationship with Jesus, and you’re not living out your values… then you’re probably experiencing some fairly stressful feelings and situations. I say this because every time I do something against what I value, I feel it, I feel the stress of being at odds with myself (normally by being grumpy, rude, mean to my wife). So, this is why I actually schedule my values into my calendar, so that I can live out my priorities, and nurture my values. In this structure I experience life, fellowship, friendship, love, knowledge, family, and all within balance. It’s freedom, even though at first it’s discipline, but discipline leads to freedom, trust me, I’ve lived it. Don’t lie to yourself.
A real post, for real
Dec 22nd
So I have no idea who even reads this on any regular basis… apparently there are still about 43 people subscribed to the feed… so someone cares 
Now, what do I have to say these days? I guess a lot, but not a lot. There are a lot of hot topics out there, many of which have all kinds of commentary you can easily find. So what can I talk about that is unique? Different? Relevant? – that’s my challenge. A lot of people simply don’t like to read a lot, I myself find it hard to read long posts. So how do I write something that I myself would read? That’s my conundrum.
So I’ll talk about myself, it’s easy enough, and might be interesting to someone, and certainly isn’t repeating anything anyone else is talking about….
I’ll keep it short, and hopefully give some extra time to each point in following posts… firstly, I’m finding myself come full circle in a lot of things, but mostly in my faith in Jesus. For the past few years I kept looking for “more”, to find some kind of “better” experience, a life with Christ that was “more” like the early church. In this pseudo journey for “more” I have discovered that I had it all along, it’s just that I was looking for others to do it, when in reality, it only takes me to have a church experience that I desired.
You might ask, what kind of things was I desiring? Authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and hearts after God. It seems that somewhere along the way I forgot that God used humans, people who make mistakes. Over the past few years I have realized that those things that I listed are all it takes to see the magnificent things of the early Church show up in today’s Church. The key to provoking that kind of culture in our churches? Humility, repentance, and forgiveness!
Any group of believers who have humility, repentance, and forgiveness as their foundation for relationship building, will experience the authenticity, generosity, genuine love, and heart of God in people, just as the early Church did. This is what I believe Jesus meant when he said “and even greater things you will do”. What’s greater than healing the sick, raising the dead, and the repentance of sin? It’s people living in harmony, love, and for each other rather than themselves!
